worn

I began this new year with my hope that this would be "the year"...you know, every day purposeful & intentional. And here it is, the 22nd day of 2012 --- and I struggle to build up the motivation to get up, attend to my list for the day...bills, vacuum, folding the clothes that I am spinning in the dryer for the third time. I feel guilt when any moment of a day feels wasted....but I am also learning that there are days when I will need to concede to being tired. Perhaps it is my new job with the challenges that that brings, perhaps it is the pace I run when I feel well, perhaps it is just the "too much" that catches up with us. I also wonder if I underestimated the power of that little deer tick bite from this past fall...and if I need to respect that Lyme Disease may just be chronic. I have been in contact as of late with the doctor's office, and discovered that the words, "profound fatigue" are in my little file. Not sure...but today I am worn...not worn out, just worn. If I respect & even revere this in my antiques....then I will need to also allow this for myself, too....not every day, not all the time....but for today. So, I will not feel any guilt for sitting in my robe, tucked inside my warm home today-with the world getting on quite well without me. Guess I need to hit the dryer button once again.