Sunday, January 22, 2012

worn

I began this new year with my hope that this would be "the year"...you know, every day purposeful & intentional. And here it is, the 22nd day of 2012 --- and I struggle to build up the motivation to get up, attend to my list for the day...bills, vacuum, folding the clothes that I am spinning in the dryer for the third time. I feel guilt when any moment of a day feels wasted....but I am also learning that there are days when I will need to concede to being tired. Perhaps it is my new job with the challenges that that brings, perhaps it is the pace I run when I feel well, perhaps it is just the "too much" that catches up with us. I also wonder if I underestimated the power of that little deer tick bite from this past fall...and if I need to respect that Lyme Disease may just be chronic. I have been in contact as of late with the doctor's office, and discovered that the words, "profound fatigue" are in my little file. Not sure...but today I am worn...not worn out, just worn. If I respect & even revere this in my antiques....then I will need to also allow this for myself, too....not every day, not all the time....but for today. So, I will not feel any guilt for sitting in my robe, tucked inside my warm home today-with the world getting on quite well without me. Guess I need to hit the dryer button once again.

4 comments:

Kari from Meadowview Farm said...

Not looking for sympathy...just want to be true to this little life I live on this 1857 farm in Wisconsin. Most days are quite charming...and some days are just real.
Kari

Dawn Dutton said...

Some days we just need to rest! Take care dear Kari!

Cheryl said...

You're recharging your battery. It's all in how we perceive those days. If we consider them wasted we feel guilt. But we should just be able to languish once in a while. And enjoy it. It should be a reward for the all the hard work we've already done to make that kind of day possible.

Kari from Meadowview Farm said...

Thanks Dawn & Cheryl.
Kari

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